I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
sarcasm needs its own font
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
