guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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