you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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