I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
