The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
