we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
