Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
