the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
