Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
