Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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