Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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