seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
