you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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