Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
