Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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