wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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