I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
