just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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