I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
