what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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