im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
