why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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