saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
