It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
