Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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