I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
