My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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