Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
