So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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