normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
