you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
