Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
