If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
