hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
