is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
