Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
