You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
