Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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