should my penis look like a turkey
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
