theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
