Are we in a gay sports bar?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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