If that was your dad, he is hot
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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