please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
A bitchslap is in order.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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