Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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