you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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