I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
