He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
