the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
