There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize