Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
